My Voodoo Skull Fairy

 

  • Do you or have you ever gotten a tattoo instead of self harming?
  • Have you used the pain of getting a tattoo or piercings to help you “get by”, without you physically harming yourself? To keep you from harming yourself?
  • Do you tend to get more tattoos when you are manic? or depressed?

For me, yes to all the above.

And here is a photo of one. She was not last-minute, I had wanted to get her for a while. But I was manic when I got her. And about 3 more tattoos within a 2 month period. I was also depressed. I do not regret getting her.

IMG_6923

IMG_6204

In Memory of Sammie (Aug.98-Dec.13)

This is my most recent tattoo. This is a picture (doodle) I did of Sammie last year. In honor of her memory, I decided to get her tattooed on my leg. So I could still take her out for walks ;)

Sammie was my baby for 15 wonderful years. She found me in Germany in 1998. She was the runt of the litter, as soon as I saw her, I knew she would be an important part of my life. She traveled the world with me, always faithfully by my side. I love her and miss her so much. Putting her to rest was the most difficult decision I have ever made. But I knew it was time. I decided to be in the room while it was done. My husband and her ‘sister’ Roxy were also there. My heart hurt so much watching her as she slipped away. I did NOT want to let her go, but I had no choice. While it was extremely rough being there when it happened, I am glad I was there, as she made her way to the Rainbow Bridge.

Image

Image

Image

My Phoenix

A phoenix is a mystical bird that rises from its ashes. It symbolizes rebirth from a dark and ragged existence to a new and beautiful one. As I have done :)

Tattoos

Before: I got this tattoo when I was 17. It is a rose, with a blue heart, with barbed wire wrapped around it.

Meaning: I was the rose; the heart was blue because I was “blue” depressed, felt alone; the barbed wire was something I put around myself for protection.

After: Had this one done last weekend. I am now 37. Bipolar Disorder/Mental Health Awareness Ribbon :)

Meaning:Self explanatory

A little lesson to others…

I do realize that I am “labeling” myself by the title of this page and my recent tattoo. However I do not feel/think this is negative in any way. I am trying to put a positive spin on being “labeled” with a mental disorder. And I do believe there is a difference in stating “I am Bipolar” and “”I have Bipolar Disorder”.  I am not my bipolar disorder, I do not let it completely define who I am, even though it is a big part of who I am and who I have become. I just happen to have bipolar disorder, and there is so much more to me than having a mental illness. (I do realize I sound a bit like a contradiction, I tend to be that way).
It is not ALL bad all the time. I am not a crazy violent person. I am kind, friendly, loveable and caring. Yes, sometimes I have a difficult time and may be difficult to be around, but that is okay. That is just who I am and the way it is for me and those around me. I accept that, and my loved ones accept that. So, before attaching all of those negative connotations to the word bipolar or the term mental illness, STOP and educate yourself on the subject; knowledge is power. Take the time to get to know us, there is no need to fear us. We hurt, we laugh, we cry, we bleed… we are not that different from you. Just because we tend to feel things on a more deeper and passionate level doesn’t make us bad people. We are exceptional individuals, you would probably realize that if you took the time to get to know us on a more personal level rather than running the other way. Much love! ♥

~Bekr