Once upon a time there was a girl. A girl who had so many dreams. But they were cut short because of her brain and the way she thought. She had everything she wanted as a child. Any material items she wanted, she got. That was the way her parents showed her love. They did not know any better. In their minds, they were doing good. They wanted to give her everything they did not have when growing up. They did the best they could. They were happy to see her “happy”. They bought her everything she wanted. She believed this was love. She did not know any better. When she craved attention she would make herself sick by taking pills. She wasn’t sure why she did this, because she never really got any attention when was throwing up. For some reason it made her feel better. So many of her early years consisted of taking pills to make herself sick. For some reason it made her feel better, sitting there in front of the toilet, heaving her guts out, whether her parents noticed or not. Once she got older, into her early teens she would burn and sometimes cut herself. She was never sure why she did it. She felt different from all the other kids and her friends. She felt she did not belong… anywhere. It was a strange feeling that would sometimes overcome her. She felt not in the right place, like she belonged somewhere else. She was a great listener. She was also a total bitch to some. She was even a bully in her earlier years, probably because of her own issues… who knows? She had severe fears of being watched. She always felt she was being watched no matter where she was. That eventually went away as she got older. She drank heavily and was promiscuous, it was her “escape”. Along with alcohol came drugs. She was never really happy… not sure why. Her later teenage and early adulthood were a total blur. She had attempted suicide many times through out her life. She was raped and had many other “bad” experiences with men through out her life. She joined the Army, and traveled all over the world. She met a lovely man and got married, was totally in love, but when her husband was deployed, she felt abandoned, even though she knew that was not the case at all. She went on a downward spiral. She went back to drugs and alcohol and promiscuity. She still loved her husband very much. He wasn’t a jealous man, which made it easier for her to do the things she did, because in her mind she felt it was okay. She eventually got divorced. She moved back to her home town and met up with a childhood friend. They went on a couple of dates and she was in heaven. He was such a wonderful guy. He had some faults, but we all do. They became inseparable after a few days, and it has been them against the world since them. He has been able to put up with her craziness since then, so far. He was caring, loving and everything a girl could ask for. There were a few things that bothered her though, he was a little controlling. She had always done what she wanted when she wanted, so she was not used to anyone “telling” her what she could and couldn’t do. That frustrates her to this day. But she accepts that is part of being in a marriage. It is all about communication and compromising. After decades of being miserable, she was able to come out of that deep dark pit. She stopped living in the past. She forgave herself for everything “bad” she had done, and by doing that was able to release the guilt she was clinging on to. She found true happiness and hope. And now she is trying to spread a message of hope to those that are in the “place” where she used to be. She still has bad days, but they are nothing compared to what they used to be. And that is because of her new found hope and positive attitude toward life. She knows that no matter what, it DOES get better. She knows that when things are not going well, that they will pass, then things WILL get better.